We’re Unable to Take Your Call Now

Tuesday, 16 September 2008 by aurora_guy.

The pro- and anti-Palin rallies last week in Alaska were, shall I say, unimpressive; e.g., http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-85837.  I admit it.  We Alaskans don’t know how to rally effectively.  We’re a gun-totin’, fur-topped, Carhartt’s-clad bunch of individualists — yes, even “liberals” are armed here — but by God, we can’t organize ourselves out of a phone booth with a map and an Indian guide.  We’re passionate about our beliefs, we embrace our unique position in geography with great vigor, and yet we’re a bunch of bumblers when it comes to expressing ourselves as a unified body.  It doesn’t matter what size the group.  Our efforts are just lame.  Period.  So I ask, “Why?”

I think about these things on my drive to and from work.  Alaska, after all, is a land of great distances, and when scanning the horizon along the endless miles of willow and birch for a 1500 lb bull moose or invading Russians, one’s mind tends to wander.

(Before going on, I should acknowledge the anti- and pro-Iraq war demonstrators, who made a regular showing for a few years even at subzero temperatures at a key intersection in Fairbanks.  Their opposing displays of signage were almost quaint.  God bless them, but neither group made an effective pitch to sway passersby, nor did they ever convey any sense that Alaskans were for or against the war.)

I think it’s a compound problem, actually.   First of all, we all operate on bush time — not Bush time; bush, lower case.  It’s hard to get any group in Alaska to show up on time for any event.  Even “fast food” takes on a whole new meaning above latitude 60 degrees north.  Second, we all share this reluctance to join any group that would have us as a member.  Third, we’re busy.  In summer months, we’re fishing to fill the freezer.  September brings moose hunting season and wood chopping.  In the winter, well, it’s just cold, and we have trouble starting our cars, or we’ve gone on vacation to Hawaii or Las Vegas with our Permanent Fund Dividend checks.

I would suggest to those seeking insight into Ms. Palin’s  general acceptability to the Alaskan populace to avoid any inference from public demonstrations.  We’re a hard-to-pin-down sort of folk, in large part because of the demands of where we live and the peculiar nature of our lifestyles and specific motivations.  We are not like you Outsiders.

Besides, we only have three Electoral College votes, so what difference does it make? Make up your own minds!

Please stop calling.  We’re busy getting ready for winter.

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